


"Rack Time"

by acorr97



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acorr97/pseuds/acorr97
Summary: **UPDATE: The ending was missing!!! Sorry!!**This is based on the episode entitled "Countdown" (Season 2 Episode 15). This imagines what could've happened when Cragen broke up the "fight" between Benson and Stabler and told them both to go get some rest in the cribs. Total fiction. Enjoy!
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	"Rack Time"

**"Rack Time"**

**_“_ ** **_Alright get a few minutes of rack time_ ** **_-_ ** **_both of you_ ** **_!”_ ** Captain Cragen yells.

 **_“Screw you”_ **

**_“Screw you!”_ **

Elliot punches the locker as Olivia slams the door closed to the cribs. 

“I can’t freakin lay here while that girl is still out there…” 

“Listen, I don’t like this any more than you, but Cragen is right. We’re exhausted! What’s the harm in taking a few minutes?” 

“Tell that to the girl-“ 

“Okay, okay. I get it! You don’t need to convince me!” 

“Seriously, what is your problem?” 

“MY problem??” 

Personal space. He has never respected those boundaries. Or any boundaries when it came to her. HER. 

How can someone simultaneously drive you to murder and harden your dick at the same time? She was fire and ice. 

For their entire partnership, the rumors had abounded. Victims and perps alike could see the tension – feel the heat – between them. 

Partners. For better or for worse. 

Elliot looks down at the gold band on his finger. No, THAT represented for better or for worse. How could he even entertain the thoughts that flooded his mind? His heart. It was her fault. It was always her. He had never in his life met someone so maddening. While he always had anger issues, she seemed to bring him to a whole new level of rage. He wanted to kill her and kiss her in the same breath. UGGGGGHHHHH! He raged and punched the locker once more for good measure. Everyone froze in terror at his outbursts of anger. Everyone but her. Leaning against the door to the cribs, she merely watches this latest display of macho angst. With her arms crossed angrily over her chest, she stares at him – unwilling to give him the reaction that he so desires. 

Flopping down on the uncomfortable mattress, Elliot folds a thick forearm over his eyes. He knew that his captain was right. Cragen was always right. Yet Elliot knew that there was no way that he could rest – not while a woman was living through her own personal hell. No. There would be no rest. 

From the next bed, Olivia sat and stared at her partner. For better or worse. She shakes the words out of her head. There was a slow rumbling boil in the pit of her stomach. It doesn’t seem possible that her partner could make her feel sympathy for him, and also want to pummel him into next week. Her heart ached for the way he felt for the victims. He was the cop that she would want on her case. He was passionate and relentless. Her heart stops. Yes, he is passionate and relentless – and not just when it came to the victims. 

Most days they were 100% in sync. They spoke without words and finished each other’s sentences. For these reasons, and a host of others, rumors ran rampant throughout the precinct for years. They were sleeping together. They HAD to be. No two people could be THAT close and not also be THAT close. She shakes her head at the thought. This just showed how no one truly understood them. 

This day wasn’t like most days. They had been at each other lately. The cases wore them out. Sleep was a luxury that the unit didn’t have when the cases became this intense. It was normal that two people who spent 14 hours a day together every day would get annoyed with each other. But Elliot and Olivia were anything but normal. Neither of them understood this dynamic that they had created. Elliot and Kathy had gotten together as kids. The first time they had been intimate brought Maureen 10 months later. He didn’t have much of a life outside of his family. He had done the right thing. 

Olivia on the other hand, knew very little about family. She never knew her rapist father. Her mom was a drunk who made it her mission to let Olivia know that she was unworthy of love. While Elliot had a strong sense of family within the walls of his own home, Olivia knew nothing of such intense loyalty. She was used to fighting and staring at the backs of people as they walked out of her life. Fight and flight. This is was Olivia knew. 

Olivia had finally allowed herself to lay down on the uncomfortable mattress. As the bed frame squeaked and creaked, Elliot found himself looking over at his partner. He exhales deeply. Once again he had let his temper get the best of him. He just couldn’t help it, could he? He was a bastard. He had known this for his entire adult life. Here was his partner, his best friend. He had treated her like she didn’t care about the victims as much as he did. Deep down he knew that this was FAR from the truth. If anything, Olivia felt deeper and harder for the victims. She related to the victims. It was her strength and her weakness. It worried Elliot. He knew that it made her raw. These cases hurt them all, but they especially hurt her. 

After a few moments, a lifetime in Olivia’s mind, she sat up and swung her legs around to the side of the bed. Elliot’s heart broke for her. As much pain as he felt for the victim, his heart always broke harder for Olivia. He would do ANYTHING to take away her pain. It astounded him. Elliot couldn’t remember the last time he felt that strongly about easing his wife’s heartache – a pain that was most likely also caused by him. Shaking his head in a weak attempt to dump those thoughts from his mind, Elliot turns to his side and leans on his left elbow. 

“This is a waste of time.” With heavy eyes, Olivia places both hands on either side of her hips and starts to push herself up off of the thin mattress. Sleep was not going to happen. Not right now and maybe not until this case was over. With one swift movement – that impresses both people in the room – Elliot’s feet hit the floor and in two steps he is up and next to his partner. He is close. Dangerously close. 

Olivia gasps audibly. He is unapologetically in her space. This is the dance that they have shared for their entire partnership. While personal space is not something that Elliot respects with other people, it is something that does not exist when it comes to his partner. For better or worse. 

“Liv-“ he whispers as his hands unconsciously reach up to grab Olivia’s upper arms – as if she needed steadying. Elliot was the one that needed to be steadied. His breathing stopped and his heart pounded in his ears. His brain was about to ask his body what the hell he thought he was doing when Olivia’s voice cut into his soul. 

“El-“ She tries hard to remind herself to breathe. Throughout the years of their partnership, she was used to this lack of respect for her personal space. Perps and dates alike had found her knee between their legs for a lot less of an encroachment on her space. Yet with Elliot it was different. It was always different with him. Theirs was a partnership build in a conundrum, wrapped in an enigma….surrounded by hypocrisy and drowning in the unspoken. 

“Liv. Please. Stay.” Elliot hears his words and they both freeze. Why is he asking her this? Neither of them can sleep. This isn’t the first time that they have lost their cool over a case. It isn’t the first time that they have stared into each other’s eyes as their hearts broke for the pain that the other wore on their sleeve. 

Olivia stands with her mouth open. She too is shocked by his sudden pleading. She looks up the few inches into his eyes. Beautiful. Blue. Broken. Any words that were about to escape her mouth have long since vanished, along with her resolve. For better or worse. 

As though his body has finally caught up with his mind, Elliot’s hands let go of her arms. He turns and heads to the tiny window illuminating the cribs. Folding his arms and exhaling deeply, Elliot tries with all his might to regain the composure that he didn’t even know he had lost. Now it was Olivia’s turn to switch on autopilot. In a few swift steps, she is behind him. Her hands spreading over the tops of his broad shoulders. Standing up a little straighter, Elliot can feel her hands on him. Her breasts are lightly brushing against his back. His breath catches in his throat. Without warning her mouth is on his back, open slightly and resting on his trap muscle. For better or worse. Please God give me the strength! Does she realize what she is doing? It honestly doesn’t seem like she does. At least that is how it needs to be in his mind. This is not her. He is the one that has unnatural thoughts. He needs to go to confession. It’s been too long. His thoughts about his partner have become too— 

“We’ll get her back, El” she says it as much for herself as for him. Planting a kiss on his shoulder, she steps back. Instantly he feels the drop in temperature as her hands and her body have left him. He immediately wants her back in his space. NEEDS her back in his space. NEEDS HER. 

Feeling the draft that comes between them, Elliot turns around and his hands grab for hers. They are acting on their own and Elliot is powerless to stop them. Olivia gasps as his hands lock on her wrists. She had felt foolish for touching him in that way. What the hell was she thinking? This was her partner. Her MARRIED partner. He was her friend – her best friend. They had been through this before. This wasn’t their first tough case. This wasn’t their first late-night or frustratingly restless evening spent in the cribs. Why did this seem different? It wasn’t different. For some reason, though, they were. 

“What if we don’t?” Elliot struggles to keep his mind on the case and not on the fact that he holds his partner’s wrists as if she’s hanging off the side of a building. He can’t let her fall. He can’t let himself fall. But he ha already fallen. And he doesn’t want to get up. 

“We will. We’ll get her back and we’ll get him!” 

“How do you know?” 

“It’s what we do.” But this. This is NOT what they do. Olivia wills herself to wrestle herself from his grasp. But she finds that she can’t. She won’t. “For better or worse.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Quickly she recovers. “This is what we do. We save the victims and we screw the perps.” FUCK. Did she really just say SCREW? 

He could feel the heat as it appeared in her cheeks. Out of sympathy, he turns back to look out the window. It is pouring outside. The storm has rumbled in within the last few minutes. It rages outside as it rages within: within the room and within the two partners. For better or worse. 

She is so relieved that Elliot turned away from her. The blush has overtaken her face and she quickly brings her hands up to hide the blush and attempt to wipe away the stress of it all. His hands have grabbed for the metal that surrounds the small window. His head has lowered and she can’t help but gaze at his strong back. Each muscle has tightened with the stress. Her heart aches to reach out to him. Closing her eyes, she can imagine her hands running up the length of his back to his massive shoulders. They would stop there for a moment before trailing down his powerful arms. She can almost feel his taut biceps and bulging forearms. 

Olivia gulps as she returns to reality. No. Stop. This is Elliot. She argues in her mind. Yes. Exactly. This is Elliot. Touch him! No. He’s my partner. Yes. So touch him! No! He is my MARRIED partner. Yeah, okay. Married. But is he home with her now? No. He is here with you. I know he is. Don’t be silly. I can see him standing in front of me. Yeah, and he’s hurting. You can relieve that hurt. ONLY YOU can relieve that hurt. You love him? Yeah, he’s my partner. Then help him! 

At some point, Elliot has turned around and is staring at Olivia. A small smile infects one corner of his mouth. He knows the battle that is raging inside of her mind. Well, at least he thinks he does. If only he knew what was REALLY battling in his partner’s mind and heart. For better or worse. 

“Liv.” He can’t let her fight the war within herself any longer. His head tilts and a smile works it’s way up his face and finally into his eyes. His right hand comes up to his partner’s upper arm and he proceeds to rub up and down as if warming her from the cold. She looks up and her eyes are full of uncried tears. His heart breaks. This case is tearing them apart. If Elliot only knew that the consternation and pain in her eyes had zero to do with the case. Where would his strength be then? 

“I’m just so tired,” she struggles to speak. “I just feel like I don’t have it in me to fight any more.” Fight for the victims. Not for herself. For them. No. She can’t be thinking like this right now. The case. The case is what matters. This is what she does. She puts herself and her feelings aside: for the victims, for her partner – her married partner. But he’s here now – not at home – he’s here with you. 

“Liv,” Elliot pleads. His hand is behind her neck now, grasping her head as if it is the only thing holding her up right now. His thumb rubs her cheek in a thinly veiled attempt to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Her breath hitches as she allows her head to slowly relax against his hand. Her eyes close as she allows herself a moment to just breathe. Elliot takes this moment of acquiescence to push ahead. “Olivia, you are the strongest person I know.” He wills his strength to her. She doesn’t need it. The words are truth. But he wants her to feel it now. He will give his strength to her in this moment. It is temporary. She will be back to her ass-kicking self in no time. That is what makes him get lost in her. Strength and vulnerability. He lived his entire life thinking that those two things were mutually exclusive. But here in front of him stood the most beautiful mystery of the universe. She is strength and power while she is also vulnerability, and wears her heart on her sleeve like an open wound. 

Ha. Olivia laughs as her head continues to rest in his hand. She doesn’t feel very strong right now. It’s amazing how he sees something in her that clearly does not exist. She is like a baby – unable to hold her head up without assistance. 

Elliot’s heart warms as he watches her eyes close. He wants this for her. He wants to be her peace – her calm in the storm. It is moments like this that make everything else worthwhile. The boundaries that must exist between them. The offers of drinks after work that must be rejected. The conversations that must remain unspoken. All that exists between them consist of stolen glances and brief touches. That is all that can exist. At least that is what he tells himself in moments like this. 

“I’ll be okay. I just haven’t slept.” It is as if Olivia has heard the words bouncing around in his head at this moment. He isn’t entirely sure that she hasn’t. It is their uncanny gift that they can sometimes hear the words that remain unspoken. She is trying to lift her head off of his hand. Instead, Elliot’s other hand comes up and locks her head in both of his hands. Both thumbs gently rub the sides of her tired face. There is an ache in her eyes that no amount of sleep can relieve. The bags under her eyes have gotten a few shades darker. Elliot would do anything to ease her pain; even if it meant eating up that pain within himself. A small price to pay, he thinks. 

“I know Liv, I know.” His words warm her. He pulls her into him. As his arms wrap around her, she exhales into his broad chest. His heat eases the pressure and she warms in his embrace. She buries her head into him as his head leans into her. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he finally allows himself the opportunity to exhale. 

They both stand there encased in each other’s warmth. Neither knows how long they were standing there – or for that matter how long they were up in the cribs. But it really didn’t matter. In that moment they were the only two people in the universe. For better or worse. 

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Olivia allowed herself to revel in the heat of Elliot. He really was her fire on a cold winter’s night. She really shouldn’t feel this way about her partner. Her MARRIED partner. The man who chooses to stand here instead of sit at his dinner table tonight. She needs to be the strong one. When it comes to her, Olivia knows that she is Elliot’s kryptonite. She tries to push herself away from Elliot. It takes everything that she has. She steels herself for the impending cold air that will hit them once they break their hold. 

“No. Liv.” He protests. His heart can’t take it. He needs this. As much as this hug was to comfort her, he realizes now that this was also for him. He needed this. He needs her. 

It is the pain in his voice that freezes her. It breaks her heart. She has lost her resolve. Her strength for them is gone. She is tired of being the strong one. He needs her – and dammit she needs him. She throws out one last attempt to be strong. Knowing his answer before the words hit his ears. 

“Elliot. You have to let me go.” 

“I can’t.” In the dark, his eyes find hers. They are pleading with her. Please, Olivia, stay here with me. 

“We can’t.” Her heart aches. She is telling him as much as she is telling herself. “This isn’t us,” she lies. This has always been them. 

She wants to heartache to stop. She so desperately wants the pain to go away. Olivia realizes that the only way to relieve the ache in her chest is also the one thing that she cannot allow. Doing the right thing will mean that her heart will never find peace. It will never know happiness or relief. 

“This IS us. It’s only you and me in here,” He tells her as he wills the world to go away. 

“We’re partners.” The statement is meant to make them realize their place. As if their place in each other’s life was ever that simple. Their definition of partners was always more than the word implied when it came to other people. 

“For better or worse-” a smile sparkles in his baby blues. 

“You’re married-” she is reminding herself as much as him. 

“Liv” He wants to stop her from thinking about it, reminding him. 

“El-” she begs him, pleads with him. She feels herself unraveling as she tries to regain her composure and remain standing. Maybe if she sits on the bed he will leave her alone, she thinks to herself. Yes, that is what she will do. 

As if he has heard her, Elliot grabs her arms and refuses to let her sit down on the bed. He will NOT let her run from him. He knows that this is what she does. She is always the strong one. It really isn’t fair to her. He knows this. But his heart will not let him let her go. 

“Elliot!” She protests. It is all that she has left. She hopes that it will be enough. 

“Liv,” his voice is an impassioned whisper. He is begging her. Please don’t leave me. The unspoken words wrap around them. I can’t do this without you. Do what? Any of it. I need you. I know. You need me. I know. “Let’s just-” hold each other. Please come here. Of course she does it. As strong as she is, she is powerless to stop him. He is her kryptonite. 

His arms wrap around her shoulders. Her arms wrap around his waist. His hands lock onto his opposite elbow. Her hands grasp onto each other behind his strong back. He buries his head between her shoulder and her neck. Her head buries in the same spot on him. They freeze and inhale each other’s intoxicating scent. They both individually decide that this is what heaven must be. Here in each other’s arms. There is no missing little girl. Kirsten is not missing. They have not been working for almost two days without a moment of sleep. No. There is only this. 

They are both crying now. Sniffles and sobs are barely audible. They are holding each other up. If one gives way then they will both go down. Slowly, they lift their heads from each other’s shoulders. Moving in sync as always they move a single hand up to the other’s wet face. Olivia uses the back of her fingers to wipe away Elliot’s tears. In turn, he uses his thumb to wipe away a few of the tears that have fallen from her gorgeous brown eyes. In this moment he knows what he has to do. He has to make her pain stop. It might be cockiness or arrogance. Those are words often used to describe him. His partner knows better. Deep down he knows better. He is the only one capable of taking away her pain. It is a burden that he took on those years ago. “I’m your partner, for better or worse.” 

“Liv” 

“El” 

He tilts his head. He can’t stop himself. This is happening whether he wants it to or not. If it didn’t happen today it would happen tomorrow. He was so done fighting it. He no longer had the energy in him for it. He knew that she didn’t have it in her either. Leaning in, he is dangerously close to her now. His lips are getting close to hers. They can feel the heat from the other. Elliot can smell her breath. It is stale coffee but it could be fresh cut roses for all he cared. His eyes move from her lips to her eyes. Expecting to see fear and protestation, he only sees his desire reflected in her eyes. As always she is right there with him. He chuckles to himself. Why would he expect it to be any other way? She was always there with him. Partners. For better or worse. 

Their collective breath hitches as the last few millimeters of space disappear between them. At some point, her head has tilted in anticipation of this moment. Their lips meet. Time stops. The earth no longer rotates on its axis. No one else exists. It is only the two of them. Since their first day as partners, everyone else fell off the edges of the world. 

His hand cups her head. His fingers lose themselves in her hair. Her hands move to his back. They climb up his back and her palms press into the muscles until they lock onto his shoulders. He groans as her fingers sink into him. He deepens their kiss and is met with a groan from her. Any chance of him stopping escapes with her moan. As their mouths open their tongues escape to make contact. Heat rises from them both and it burns the tips of their tongues. 

As if burned, they both lean back just enough to find air. Their eyes widen and lock onto each other. With labored breathing, they know that they should stop. But they cannot. They both sink back into each other’s searing kiss. Elliot groans and grabs both sides of her face with his hands. His fingers are entangled in her hair and he thinks that this is how he dies. Olivia’s hands find their way to his waist. Rashly she tugs his shirt out of his pants. Her need is strong. She MUST feel his skin under her fingers. Now her fingers limb up his chest. She groans into his mouth as her fingers feel his tight, muscular chest. She always wondered if his chest looked as good as she imagined. It was better. So, so much better. Olivia was going to hell – and she was okay with it. 

Elliot’s mind is on fire. Were his partner’s long, beautiful fingers really burning holes in his bare chest? Had he died from lack of sleep? If this was heaven – or hell – he didn’t much care. His own fingers tingled at the back of his partner’s head. His moans melted into hers. The sounds rang through their ears and neither knew which voice was causing each moan. He couldn’t breathe. He didn’t want to stop, but he needed the air. He was on fire and the oxygen was gone. 

“El-” her voice cuts through the fire that burns up the room. “We. We can’t. This. This is-”

“I know. I know.” His hands release from Olivia’s hair and press into his eyes. He falls back onto the thin mattress and the frame squeaks. His eyes fall from hers as his head falls into his hands. What the fuck just happened? He can’t look at her. He can’t. Olivia must feel it too. She slumps onto the bed across from his. He can feel her eyes burning into him. Neither of them has taken a breath. They both wonder the same thing. What the hell just happened? 

A knock on the door makes them both gasp. “Guys. Sorry to interrupt, but we’ve got a lead!!” Munch declares. Both detectives have been snapped back into reality. Everything else will need to wait.


End file.
